Judith and Richard's story
Like many couples today, Judith and Richard did not make
the decision to start a family until Judith was in her
mid-thirties.
After a couple of years of trying to conceive the couple began
fertility treatment which proved unsuccessful. By this time
Judith was 39 and the couple had almost given up hope.
After a great deal of thought the couple agreed that what they
wanted the most was a family and they therefore decided to
adopt.
A big family
Their family is now considerably bigger, having adopted three
siblings: Beth, aged 6, and George and Daniel, twins, aged 5.
'We went from being just a husband and wife to a family of five!'
says Judith.
But it wasn't an overnight process. It took about 16 months from
their initial enquiry with Action for Children until they were
approved and then matched with their new family - and that's
relatively quick.
'This was a very difficult time for us because, just like going
through IVF, you feel powerless,' comments Judith. During this time
various police checks, assessments and an adoption panel took
place, followed by the preparation groups run by Action for
Children.
Both Judith and Richard thought these sessions had an important
role to play. 'While you can never be totally prepared for the
changes that happen when you adopt three children, the courses that
Action for Children provided were really useful. They addressed
issues like the feelings the children might have about being
adopted and how we could help them through it. I'm not sure
we could have coped without them. They also enable you to
meet other adopters and share your experiences - a real help!'
Richard explains. 'In fact Judith is now involved as a parent
supporter at some of the preparation groups Action for Children
run.'
Three children
Judith is asked to describe the children and she instantly
chuckles. 'All three are completely different characters: Beth is
bright and bubbly and while she takes full advantage of being the
big sister, she also enjoys a good dose of rough and tumble with
the boys! She does well at school and has, over time, made
some good friendships that she will take with her onto secondary
school.
'The boys have offered a much greater challenge! Boisterous and
full of energy that unfortunately doesn't always extend to their
schoolwork! Being twins has also been difficult. They were born
prematurely and later were diagnosed with having oral dyspraxia and
glue ear. All of which, on top of their disrupted lives, has
contributed to some major learning difficulties and speech and
language delay. However they are adorable and very lovable and
after nearly five years with us are beginning to make good
steady progress.'
Being parents
Judith continues: 'People ask a lot of questions about adoption
and I have even been asked if I have the same maternal feelings
towards my children as other mothers. I say, "Yes, and more." I
don't believe it is possible to love anyone more than I love my
children. I have been bowled over by the whole thing. So has the
rest of our extended family.'
Despite occasional difficulties, there are plenty of high
points. When George received an achievement award in assembly
and won the Easter competition at school he said afterwards, 'I
knew you were proud of me Mummy 'cos you were smiling!'
Something for life
Asked if they had any pointers for people thinking about
adopting, Richard had some good advice: 'Remember this is something
for life - it's probably the most important decision you will ever
make, so think long and hard about it. And don't try to do it
alone. There's lots of support out there but it's important
to find an adoption agency that's right for you - we liked the fact
that Action for Children offer independent advice and support, and
we felt they always acted in our best interest right throughout the
process and have continued to offer a high level of support.
And even now, they are always keen to know how we are getting
on!'
Contact us for an information pack
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Email: adoption@actionforchildren.org.uk
Phone: 0845 355 5533