Advice for Fostering Teenagers

Robert has fostered alongside his wife for 11 years. In his experience fostering teenagers is not much different to fostering younger children. In fact, there are a lot of similarities. “I think that fostering older children is no more challenging than fostering younger children. You just need to know the different challenges, interests and life stage your young person is at. They are all individuals with different characters, personalities and personal issues. They all need care, guidance and hope. Whatever age they are, they need to feel loved. They need to know your home is a place of safety and support.”

Robert is the primary foster carer in his home. This means he takes on a lot of the day-to-day responsibilities. However, he explained, it was his wife who motivated their journey into fostering. “I never thought about fostering. It was my wife who always wanted to foster. We went to an open day in Glasgow. From the very first day, Action for Children Fostering were on the journey with us. They were always available to offer support, guidance and training. We’re still here 11 years later.”

Robert and his wife began by caring for younger children. He said becoming foster carers for teenagers evolved naturally. “We never thought about what ages the children would be when we started fostering. It gradually evolved from primary school age to having teenagers arriving at our door. We have cared for our current foster child for almost seven years. We’ve watched him grow up and become a teenager.”

There are a lot of stereotypes about teenagers. Particularly those who are care experienced. There is a fear of behavioural issues. There’s also a lack of understanding around the impact of trauma. Action for Children Fostering has developed a framework for ongoing training to support our foster carers in the amazing work they do. When considering fostering, it is vital to remember children and young  people end up in care because it’s no longer safe for them to live at home. This is never the child’s fault. However, being removed from their birth home will impact them. That is why all our foster carers are trained in attachment and developmental trauma and therapeutic parenting approaches. This allows them to develop the tools and resources they need to effectively manage any challenging situation they may face.

Robert explained: “Caring for foster children can be challenging, especially as they have all experienced some level of trauma and have endured experiences that we can only imagine. We have had worrying times, such as when they fail to come home. You end up with a sleepless night contacting the supporting agencies to locate them. Or they may experiment with drinking or cannabis use. This is where all our training comes in. The main tool to use is to keep calm and nonreactive. Whatever has happened can be spoken about when the young person is in a better place. It is times like this when you realise how valuable the support is that you have from Action for Children Fostering and the child’s social worker.”

Fostering teenagers has taught Robert a lot about himself and has encouraged him to also adapt. “I was very independent and would always try and resolve situations myself. I have come to realise that you need your support team. They can provide advice and support and sometimes just a chat.”

Whilst fostering teenagers is not easy, Robert explains it is a rewarding experience. “There has never been a dull moment.  The best part for us is when a young person starts to become independent. It is so rewarding seeing them feel safe and confident enough to start doing things for themselves. It may be small things to begin with, and they make mistakes, but they always know we will be there to guide them.”