Why we decided to foster

Megan began her career as a teacher 20 years ago. During that time, she’s met hundreds of young people. She’s watched them grow, supported them, and celebrated their achievements. Yet one of her core teaching memories was when she could not help.

“I went into teaching to help young people. A few years ago, I had a student who was in care. I remember them coming to school one day with a backpack full of their belongings. They had to leave their foster home and were being collected after school by their social worker. I’ll never forget the image of them with their world, literally, on their shoulders. I wasn’t in a position to help then but the experience made me consider fostering.”

When Megan told her husband Simon she would like to foster, he was very supportive. He said: “I could see how passionate Megan was about fostering. It hadn't occurred to me before but the more I thought about, and researched it, the more I could actually see us doing it.”

Simon continued, “We initially talked about providing planned breaks. This is when you support a fostering family by providing regular short breaks for a foster child, almost like taking on an auntie and uncle role. As Megan didn’t want to give up her career in teaching, we thought this could be a good fit as it afforded more flexibility. But we liked the idea of being able to offer a long-term home and stability to a child. I was working as a full-time chef. I enjoyed my work, but it was a very high-pressured environment. When we decided we were ready to proceed, I decided to give up my job to be the primary foster carer. It felt a good time to take a career break and try something different.”

The couple are parents to a 16-year-old daughter, Mia. It was important to them that she was part of the conversation about fostering. Megan explained: “When we first started talking about fostering, Mia was young. We decided to wait until she was a bit older and could be part of the decision. When she was 13, we felt the time was right to talk about fostering with her. She was very excited and immediately Googled ‘what is fostering?’. She loved the idea of helping someone else.”

After some research, the family decided to get in touch with Action for Children Fostering. “We looked at several fostering agencies. The ethos and values of Action for Children Fostering really appealed to us. We love that they are a charity and their focus is on support and finding the right fit for our family,” said Megan.

From the first phone call, the couple felt at ease. “I remember the welcome call; it was very relaxed. I came off the phone with such a positive feeling,” Megan recalls.

The couple had some concerns about their suitability to foster and chatted these through with a fostering social worker. Simon explains: “I’m on medication for anxiety. I wasn’t sure if that would mean we couldn’t apply. Also, I wasn’t sure how they would feel about a man as the primary foster carer. At our initial home visit the fostering social worker was great. She explained there isn’t a one-type-fits-all foster family and that they didn’t expect us to be perfect. That who we are is enough.”

The application and assessment process took just under a year to complete. The couple found it intense but understood why. “You’re assessing people to care for children. We understood why the process had to be so thorough. It helped us learn a lot more about ourselves and what we have to offer. It was quite therapeutic and by the time we were approved to foster, our assessing social worker felt more like a friend. They got to know us and that has helped so much when looking at finding the right fit when linking us with young people.”

After completing regular planned breaks for two young people, the family felt ready to welcome someone into their family on a long-term basis. After exploring a few referrals, they were introduced to siblings, Ollie, 13, and Lola, 9. “When we heard about Ollie and Lola, we felt they were a good fit. We had two spare bedrooms, so we had the space and as brother and siter, we really wanted to help keep them together. The initial settling-in period had its challenges but the training we received made a massive difference. Now, Ollie and Lola feel like part of our family. Seeing them relax and start to treat our home as their own has been so rewarding – it’s made every step of the journey feel so worthwhile.”

*  The Robinson family is made up but the stories are real, taken from the experiences of real foster families.