Fostering with Action for Children

Simon and Megan, alongside their 16-year-old daughter Mia, started their fostering journey with Action for Children three years ago. Megan said: “After researching several fostering agencies, we decided to proceed with Action for Children Fostering. There was no pressure during the initial welcome call. They understood that it was a big decision and were happy to go at our pace and just be there for us to answer any questions we had. We immediately got a real sense of the support that the charity offers. That is the main reason we decided they were the right fit for us.”

The application and assessment process took six months to complete. Simon said that although the process was time-intensive, as a family they found it very beneficial. “We knew the theory of fostering but the Skills to Foster training really gave us time to appreciate what the reality would be like, and if it was something that we could do. We explored real-life scenarios and how we would respond if we faced a similar situation. It gave us an opportunity to really consider the trauma children in care face and how that impacts them and their behaviour.”

Megan added that some areas covered in the assessment were daunting, such as the possibility of allegations from the young people in their care. “This initially frightened us; however, our assessing social worker really took the time to unpick this with us. She explained that it was understandable to worry about this as allegations do happen, but that it is not the norm. She also explained why things like recording and regular logs are so important to protect both you as a carer and your family, as well as the young person.”

After the couple were approved as foster carers, they agreed to provide a planned break for an 11-year-old girl. Simon said: “We were equal parts excited and nervous when welcoming Naomi into our home. It was agreed that she would stay with us for three days as her long-term foster carer had to have a medical procedure. It went better than we could have hoped.”

After another planned break, the Robinsons felt ready to welcome someone into their family on a long-term basis.  After exploring a few referrals, they were introduced to siblings, Ollie, 13, and Lola, 9. Megan said: "During the assessment process, we kept an open mind about fostering siblings. We learned that many siblings need to be split up due to the lack of foster homes that have the space to keep them together. We were lucky enough to have two spare bedrooms, and I could not bear to see Ollie and Lola be separated from each other."

The settling in period had its challenges, but Simon and Megan felt their extensive training with Action for Children Fostering helped them navigate through the difficulties. Megan expanded: “When they moved in, Ollie struggled to let himself be cared for. He was very independent and protective of Lola. In their past, he was often the one who cared for Lola and as a result he struggled to trust that this was now our role and what we were here for. Likewise, Lola struggled to trust adults, as she was so dependent on her big brother. We were taught that parenting children who have experienced trauma is very different to parenting your own children. Ollie and Lola showed lots of big emotions at the start but the therapeutic parenting techniques we were trained in, such as PACE (Playful, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy), really helped us to look at what was going on beneath the surface and for us to try and reach them where they were at.”

Simon added that knowing support was there 24/7 also helped. “At the start we called our social worker a lot. We really got close to her during the assessment process, and she has become our safety net. Sometimes we needed reassurance, other times it was practical advice on how to approach a situation. She is always happy for us to give her a call whenever we need to. During a particular difficult phase, she even kept her work phone on over the weekend when she wasn’t working so that we could contact her directly if needed. The support from our social worker, and the wider team, has been exceptional; we couldn’t fault it.”

In addition to the support from the social work team, Megan and Simon said that the peer support they have received has been very welcome. “We enjoy the regular support groups with other foster carers. Action for Children Fostering also offers a ‘buddy system’ that pairs new foster carers with more experienced ones who are happy to offer advice and support. It’s reassuring to hear of other’s experiences and that they have been where we are and come out the other side,” said Megan. Simon also enjoys the social aspect. “Action for Children Fostering hosts regular get togethers for the foster carers and the whole family, such as breakfast events at Christmas or visits to local attractions in the summer months. It really makes you feel connected.”

Family is a big part of the feeling the couple has felt since joining Action for Children Fostering. Megan said: “The team is quite small so, over time, you get to know everyone from the admin team to all the social workers and even the team managers. Everyone is so approachable and the fact they are as invested in the children as we are, is so comforting. It really is like being part of a big family.”

*  The Robinson family is made up but the stories are real, taken from the experiences of real foster families.