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Celebrating foster grandparents this Families who Foster Month

Photo of Kelly Corcoran outside
Kelly Corcoran - Digital Communications Officer
Wednesday 02 October 2024
Foster parent Karen and her father Sam stood in living room together and smiling 2

This October is 'Families who Foster Month'. We spoke to foster carer Karen and her dad, Sam, about the realities of fostering as a family and the role of the 'foster grandparent'.

Karen fosters with her husband Mike. They welcomed their first foster child at the start of the year. Karen admits those early days were challenging: “In the beginning, it was hard for everyone to adjust to a new little person in our home. Family dynamics changed. Sleepless nights led to some tense moments. Our foster child was young, and it was all very hard for her.”

Five months in, the couple and their three children, Josh (26), Reece (22) and Abi (13), are adjusting to their new normal:

Abi, being the youngest, has a new role now as a big sister. It’s lovely to watch her show compassion and care for our foster child, who is three years old. They share a bond as if they were biological siblings.

Karen, a foster parent

Although they no longer live at home, Josh and Reece also have an important role to play. “When the older boys come to visit, our foster child runs to the door to greet them in excitement. They play with her like they did with Abi when she was younger.”

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The importance of support networks when fostering

As well as the support from their children, one thing that helped Karen and Mike when they began to foster was their wider support network. Karen explained: “What I have found in my fostering journey is that I would really struggle without a good support network. Especially those early days. It’s important to have reliable people you trust to help.”

Foster grandparents

One of those people is Karen’s father, Sam, who has taken on the role of a ‘foster grandparent’. But Sam explained this isn’t his first fostering experience. “Back in the 1970s, my wife and I fostered two small babies, pre-adoption. We had an enjoyable experience then and good memories which have lasted over the years. I was delighted that Karen and her husband were starting their own fostering journey.”

Happy grandpa holding grandaugther

Sam has found his role as a foster grandparent to be incredibly rewarding. “My favourite part is being able to take some of the pressure off Karen. There are a lot of things for Karen to do daily. Such as answering lots of questions from this wee three-year-old. There are demands on her time and energy. It’s nice for me to be able to step in and talk to my foster grandchild and play with her."

She loves coming to my house to see me and my dog. I’ve enjoyed cooking meals for the whole family and seeing Karen relax and be able to enjoy a meal together.

Sam, a foster grandparent

Bringing the family together

Sam explains how fostering has also brought the family closer together. “My relationship with my daughter and her family is extremely loving and close. But, as a result of Karen fostering, we see much more of each other despite living 20 miles apart, which is lovely. The more time I spend with the whole family, the closer we all become.”

While Karen and Mike are the foster carers, everyone in the family has a role to play. Sam explains how “each family member has their own unique relationship with the foster child. It’s lovely as a fostering grandparent to watch them all interact with her.”

Although the early days had their challenging moments, Karen has no regrets about becoming a family who foster. She said:

The experience has added so much value to our lives. Sometimes I stand and listen to the laughter, fun, and chaos. I smile to myself thinking I wouldn’t change this for anything. It reminds me of when my own children were younger.

Karen

Karen added: "I feel like I’ve been given another chance to relive these experiences [of when her own children were young]. Old toys have been put to good use once again. And, our whole family has an important part to play - not only in supporting me but also modelling to our foster child what a safe, secure family looks like.”

We need more foster carers to welcome young people with open arms into their homes and lives. If you would like to explore fostering in your local area, talk to us. We’ll answer your questions, talk you through the process, and let you know what to expect. To find out more, visit: www.actionforchildren.org.uk/fostering

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