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Reflecting on a life in care: Christopher’s story

Photo of Kelly Corcoran outside
Kelly Corcoran - Digital Communications Officer
Wednesday 18 September 2024
Christopher at the beach looking and smiling at the camera

At just 11 years old, Christopher was placed in care. But despite a challenging start, he’s grown up feeling happy and confident with Action for Children’s support.

Trigger warning: this blog contains mention of self-harm.

Like many children in care, Christopher struggled in his early years. He suffered neglect at home and would often run away or go to the local shop to ask for food.

Unfortunately, Christopher's first few years in care didn't provide him with the support and stability he both needed and deserved. In the first 12 months, Christopher was moved between various foster homes in Northern Ireland, before eventually going to a residential home in Scotland. Whilst he finally had somewhere stable, the emotional impact of his childhood began to take a toll on his mental health.

I was struggling a lot with my mental health, self-harming, looking for ways to cope. I was in and out of hospitals. There was one incident where I was in a secure unit for the night because I was struggling really badly.

Christopher

After four years, Christopher’s home in Scotland was closed.

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A new start with Action for Children

Fortunately, Action for Children was there to help Christopher find a place to call home and he moved into our children’s home in Ayrshire.

Residential Manager, Carrie Baird welcomed Christopher when he arrived. She recalls how scared and anxious he was: “He was pretty broken. He was understandably frightened and just didn’t know how to cope with it all. It was yet another upheaval in his life.”

The day I arrived I was up trees, walking around the fields, and climbing farm roofs. I was so scared and really didn't know who to trust. I felt lost and didn’t know what to do with myself.

Christopher, reflecting on his first few months at our residential home.

Thankfully, the staff at the home are trauma-informed and trained to support young people like Christopher who’ve experienced such difficult starts in life.

Christopher sitting on bed and smiling at camera

The team supported Christopher emotionally. They helped him talk freely about his feelings and gave him coping strategies to manage his anxiety. They made him feel at home and looked after, and helped him buy new clothes, underwear, shoes, and toiletries – an opportunity he’d never had before. These small acts helped Christopher develop his self-esteem and sense of independence.

Over time, he learnt to trust the staff and engaged more in the home’s activities, joining in with games of pool and team sports like football. He also found solace in hobbies like plane-spotting and trainspotting, which helped him manage his anxiety.

We encouraged Christopher to play football and rugby, and took him to see games in Glasgow, which he loved. We’ve been on day trips to places like Blackpool during the school holidays. It’s about giving our kids the kind of normal childhood that they may not have had before.

A residential worker at our residential home in Ayrshire.

A bright future ahead

The staff at the home also helped Christopher through further education – helping him with filling out application forms and applying for a bursary. He went on to complete a Prince’s Trust Employability qualification in Hospitality & Catering; when it came to his graduation, they were there to celebrate his achievements with him:

We went along to Christopher’s graduation which I know meant a lot to him. He felt proud that he'd completed the course, and we could not have been prouder of him. He is just flourishing.

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In Christopher's words:

“Living here at Action for Children has definitely changed me. It has made me grow as a person. I used to feel alone. Now I feel included. I feel safe. I feel happy. It’s just a great place to be. This is like home to me and the Action for Children staff are like family.

“When I look back at that person I was when I first came here, I wasn’t confident in doing anything. I wouldn’t even walk to Tesco. Now, I look back and think “Was I really that person?” My mental health has improved massively since coming here."

I have learnt a lot from the Action for Children staff. They never stopped believing in me and supporting me. If I ever need anything, I know they’re always there.

Since completing his Hospitality and Catering course, Christopher, now 18, has started his first job working at a local bakery, which he loves. He’s now planning on leaving Action for Children’s care to live independently.

He also has contact with his family, which he was unable to have before, and hopes to move back to Derry to be nearer his mum.

As he transitions to independent living, his advice for young people going into care is to always ask for help and to believe in themselves: “I think a lot of kids are embarrassed to be in care, but I don't see it that way. If you are in care, it’s not your fault.”

In the time that he’s been with us, Christopher has already achieved so much. Soon, he’ll be leaving our children’s home with his sights set on moving back to Northern Ireland. He’s also hoping to go back to college to start an apprenticeship to become a train driver. When asked how he’s feeling, Christopher said: I’ll probably feel quite nervous, although I’m quite open-minded to start new things, learn new things, and obviously progress with my life.”

Children in care deserve a place to call home

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