"Fostering has given me a chance to be a big brother": Daniel's story

Since I’ve been young, it’s just been me, my mum and my brother. We’ve been living in the same house our whole life, which is the house we’re in now. When my brother went off to Uni it was just me and my mum. Until it wasn’t.

When Mum asked me how I felt about fostering at the beginning, I didn’t really mind. I understood that some children are less fortunate. So I gave her the nod and I’m glad I did, because I enjoy fostering too.

I was a bit nervous about the changes another person moving in with us would bring. But my Action for Children social worker Marie* came out to our house to talk to me. She helped me understand what children in foster care have been through and what would happen before and after my foster sibling moves in.

Even though we’d met up a few times before, moving in was such a sudden transition for Jake*. So he was was closed off to start with. I think if I’d had to move in with someone I’d only met three times before, I’d be the same.

I tried to make him feel at home by talking to him a lot and getting him involved in games. Looking back, I give Jake so much credit for how he’s settled into the family overtime.

I remember feeling nervous on the drive up to meet Jake. We were going to an amusement park, and I thought, ‘what’s this going to be like?’

I looked over and saw how much Jake was enjoying the rides and I felt a connection then and there. I got to experience what the three of us living together would be like before Jake moved in.

Jake loves his routines and that took getting used to. He’s got so much energy, every morning he's up by 6am and singing songs. The forest school he goes to is perfect for him, but some days are difficult and he talks to me about what’s happened. I’ll share some advice – it’s rewarding when he listens and takes it on board.

The times we ate changed and we always eat together at the dinner table now. Jake has a really big appetite, he eats everything!

My friends still come round, and they always ask Jake how he is. They get to hear all my stories about him – just like they would any other sibling. Although my friends don’t always get why foster carers need to parent differently to other parents, I do explain it to them.

Jake goes to bed at the same time every night, but before he does, he’ll spend some one-to-one time with Mum - sometimes I’ll join in with a bedtime story, which is nice.

My advice to other young people in my shoes is to give it time. You’ll build a relationship and be able to speak openly to each other, but it does takes time.

Fostering has given me a chance to be a big brother to someone and has brought me and my mum closer together. Seeing her parenting my foster sibling and making a positive difference to him has made me respect and love her so much more.